I’ve been distracted. I came to Japan with the idea that I would blog daily, do a lot of reading, actually learn some Japanese, teach English to my friend’s son every morning, go on adventures every afternoon, work on some essays, find an agent, work on my book. Etc. None of that is happening in the structured manner I envisioned. Actually there is no structure whatsoever. Every day is different. Sometimes my to-do list outdoes me. I plan too much and my scattered brain becomes overwhelmed, frustrated, bored, and I lose focus on tasks. Today I spent two hours browsing at the 100 Yen shop (everything is basically $1…LOVE that place!), stopped by the grocery store and bought my lunch, then came home and worked on a craft project. (None of which was on my to-do list). And I didn’t intend on picking up a yucky virus while traveling here that would knock me down for the first 2.5 weeks with the exception of a few good days here and there either.
So that’s life.
I did magically begin to feel better just in time for a four day, three-night girls only trip to Okinawa to relax with my friend last week. We just returned back to Tokyo yesterday and I am missing that island. I have been dreaming about Okinawa since I left there in August 2013. My last trip to Japan was not much fun because I was in an extremely negative emotional state. But a surprise girl’s only weekend trip that time to a warm tropical place I had never been before changed everything. I had been crying for weeks and my tears stopped when I took a bicycle ride through the Bise Village area near Nago. My friend read about the “fortune trees” there and thought it might be a good idea that we visited them. (I needed help). At that point she was worried about me as I had been crying over the loss of my marriage non stop for an entire week. I was worried about me too. Until I felt the Holy Spirit’s presence like I had never experienced before as I rode my bike through the canopy of trees down the dirt path to the sea.
Last week we did not stay in Nago near the trees but we took an hour car ride one afternoon to visit them. I didn’t expect a magical moment. I just wanted to take more pictures around the area and see if I could find the same path where I had taken a photo when I went the first time. This time we walked. There are several paths and there were more people there this time than before. A new hotel a few blocks away opened recently and there are more vendors and even a new coffee house. Nobody was there the first time. The old lady who rented us the bikes was the only person I remember seeing and the little parking lot was empty. We had the entire area to ourselves. This time it was a bustling tourist attraction. Everyone had come to find their fortune in the trees. I had trouble taking pictures without other people in them. And I became a little frustrated because I was not sure where MY road was exactly.
The trees were the same though. Fuguki trees grow to a substantial size and they were planted around the homes in Bise village for protection from strong storms. They are tall and have sturdy trunks, deep roots, and beautiful bright, thick, green shiny leaves. My friend suggested that I grab a few of the leaves that had fallen on the ground for a keepsake as we were getting back in the car. She also thought to take a few pictures of me while I was meandering through the paths in search of MY exact location. I didn’t have a magical moment there and I am unsure if I found MY road. But I had a moment of deep gratitude after we left and I saw one of the photos she took of me holding my phone in the air snapping pictures.
But I don’t have to go to Japan to search for God. I don’t have to find the EXACT location where I felt His presence nearly three years ago. I realize now that I can have those moments anywhere, anytime. Even at this moment as I am typing this message sitting at a child’s desk in the room I am sleeping in for the rest of my time here. When I remove the clutter and just focus on God, everything becomes clearer. I don’t have to complete the items on my to-do list by a certain time. Maybe I am just supposed to be patient and listen. Maybe my focus has been off. Maybe I lost sight of what is important. Maybe God just wants me to enjoy the moment. And the trees. The trees are a reminder of God’s strength.
That moment (MY moment) back in 2013 was just the beginning. God didn’t just rescue me then. He rescues me EVERY SINGLE DAY if I allow Him to. And if He doesn’t answer when I ask or give me the answer I want…I know He will help me understand when I am ready. With an open heart and a prepared mind I am finding my faith growing stronger not just in the Fuguki trees but everywhere.
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive