“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” ~ Unknown
Someone said something to me a couple of days ago along the lines of, “It must be difficult to think of something to write about every day.” My response? “Yes, it is extremely difficult to write some days!”
It is not difficult because I am lacking material. Most of the time it is because I am overloaded with material and lack focus. I’ve been reading a lot lately…studying and for fun. I’ve been trying to work on another writing project. I’ve been listening to a lot of music. And I have just been dealing with life. Yet I challenged myself to write here daily during Lent. So here I am.
I read a quote once that said something like, “If you have to wait for inspiration to write, then you are not a writer.” I agree. It takes WORK. It is wonderful when you feel inspired and sit down to type and a message seamlessly flows from your brain through to your fingertips and onto the screen. It is like magic. Other days are like digging a ditch. Today is a ditch day.
But while working out a problem with my other project I did think of something meaningful to say here, I hope. I thought about the quote at the top of this page. I reflect on my life a lot because without the experiences of my past I wouldn’t be in this place I am today. But that quote is a bit misleading. Sometimes you don’t have a choice. Circumstances beyond your control end up controlling parts of your life. I had a lot of crappy things happen to me in the past that were nothing to do with choices I made (although MANY were). I am thankful to be at a place in life finally where I have accepted that and I know those things are not my fault. Those “things” that tore me down happened for a reason. I thought God forgot about me for a long time but now I realize He was there all along. I needed to experience some crappy things in order to appreciate the good stuff. And oh, how I appreciate the good stuff today!!! I do not let the least little thing slip by without thanking God for it. I didn’t leave my apartment today except to get my mail. It has been gloomy and raining most of the day and I really didn’t have anywhere to go. Sometimes being stuck inside isn’t a bad thing. I think I said out loud at least three times “I love this apartment!” My cats were listening; I promise I don’t talk to myself! 😉 I am thankful for this nine-year-old MacBook that I am typing on at this very moment. It is slow but it allows me to do this job. Otherwise I’d be writing hand written letters and asking for your addresses and buying stamps and that is just all way too complicated. Ha! However I do miss receiving real mail!
I am thankful for many things…mainly for the fact that I get to say how this story ends. And it is nowhere near over yet. I am holding the pen now. And I can look back at the icky parts and just appreciate the fact that I survived them and that better days are ahead. Unlearning what the world told me I should be and learning who God made me to be has been the best part of this journey. I am currently in the bottom right quadrant of my tree collage picture and it is the best so far…I am awake.
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive