I attended a wedding yesterday. It was one of the most romantic weddings I’ve ever had the pleasure to experience. It was a celebration of love between two people who have been dating for seven years. I have been reflecting on it all day today because it was so beautiful and because the couple is very special to me. I am extremely happy for them. But I have also been reflecting on my two past marriages and other relationships. Weddings have a way of stirring up old memories and feelings don’t they?

I am not proud that I have been divorced twice. As I was driving the newlyweds to the airport this morning to catch their plane for their honeymoon, the bride mentioned that she needed to change her name on everything when they return and how much of a hassle it is going to be. I told her it is kind of a pain but at least she’d only have to do it once. Then I remembered that I have changed my legal name three times! I have faith that she will keep her new name for the rest of her life but my response really got me thinking about my own future.

Will I ever change my name again? Will I ever get married again? I have no idea. But God does. And for now I am trusting him with my next love story. I am open to love again, finally. I feel like I am ready again, finally. But this time I am not taking control of this matter. I am going to allow God to be my matchmaker. And I am going to remember that being divorced does NOT make me a failure. It just means I am back on course to finding the one he has planned for me. And until then…

Here’s to the past relationships that didn’t work out. I am not bitter anymore and I have forgiven and let go of the blame and the hurt. The relationships that didn’t work out were LEARNING experiences that only made me STRONGER and led me to figuring out who I am, what I want, what I don’t want, and what I DESERVE.

Here’s to the all of the other single women out there who are still wondering when they are going to find “the one.” Keep believing you are WORTHY of love! No matter how dirty your past looks, you have miracles in store in the future and God is going to blow your mind when he reveals what is coming. Don’t give up…just keep on keepin’ on and keep doing YOU. Focus on becoming your best self and keep the faith that either with the man of your dreams or if you remain single…you have a bright future ahead of you. Be in love with yourself!

And here’s to all the happy couples out there, married, engaged, or recently finding yourselves in love and dreaming of your wedding day. Marriage isn’t easy. It is the most important “job” you will have besides being a parent. But it is so worth it. You learn to give and take and compromise and give 150% sometimes when your partner can only give 10%. You allow your partner to be who they are and don’t criticize them for it. You give them space to grow because we are all works in progress and always evolving into the people we are destined to become. After God, you put each other first, period. You are never emotionally or verbally abusive to each other. And if things escalate to that point, you seek counseling together and you work things out…never pointing fingers and always taking responsibility for your actions or inactions. Choosing your battles…not everything is worth arguing over. Never throwing the past in your partners face. Never going to bed angry. Respecting each other. Praying together. Kissing each other goodnight, good morning, good everything.

You guys who are currently doing all of this right now are the ones who give me hope. You deserve a gold star and a pat on the back because marriage is HARD. And sometimes parts of it is a hassle. Sometimes all of it is a hassle. Sometimes you think you might be better off single again, but you don’t give up. You hang in there for better or worse and you make it beautiful.

Because…married, single, or divorced, life is what you make it.

Blessings,

Stacey ~ iamalive

1 Corinthians 13:13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Well for some reason I skipped ahead a day in the #f260 plan. Read Galatians 4-6 tonight. Maybe it was timely because it talks about following your flesh instead of the Spirit. God has been convicting me again from not drinking. Know that I am not a big drinker. Probably have 10 glasses of wine a year. God has convicted me on this for years. Even heard His audible voice one time. That will put the fear of God in you! Then, however, time goes by and I am with friends and that’s what they do. Drinking is everywhere in our culture. It’s like everyone is trying to escape from reality or something. Know that I am not judging because that’s not my job. I am speaking for myself. When I read a man reaps what he sows and that if he sows  to please his sinful nature he will reap destruction. If he sows to please the Spirit he will reap eternal life. Drinking in itself is not a sin. However, if I drink am I really pleasing God? Escaping reality with alcohol is not in His character. Also, David Landrith said if God tells you to not do something and you do it then you are sinning. I want to experience all that God has to offer me so I am going to abstain from drinking. If my friends have an issue with that are they really my friends? I have seen too many people escape their lives with alcohol and that is something I don’t ever want to do. I want to feel even if it hurts. I believe the enemy has deceived us by saying red wine is healthy. Plus we spend so much time exercising and being healthy only to pour toxins down our throat. Doesn’t make any sense. I am sure this isn’t going to be a popular post but I will always share what’s in my heart.

Lisa

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I asked Lisa if I could share this one because when I read it last night I REALLY related. I enjoy beer and wine but I do not drink to get drunk. However, I did so recently and I have felt guilt since doing so. In the past he has not really convicted me with alcohol, but other things. When you hear that voice, LISTEN. I believe God will not elevate us to where we want to be until we let go of all of the things that are keeping us tied to our old ways instead of trusting him completely. I believe this is why I personally have been stuck in the valley for such a long time now. Maybe you relate? If so he is waiting for you to catch up. That means abiding and letting go.

Blessings,

Stacey ~ iamalive

Reading the book Love Lives Here by Maria Goff. Love this quote about hard times in our lives. “What I think God does is to allow each of us to go through difficult times to show us His presence through it. It’s as if He reminds each of us in our most difficult circumstances that the most beautiful waterfalls only happen in the steepest places in our lives.” This got me to thinking about my wanting to see waterfalls this summer after experiencing majestic ones at Yosemite. Could it be that they remind me that difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations? It takes time and effort to see waterfalls. After years of heartache and pain I am now in a season of beauty and happiness I never knew existed. I never put the correlation together but it makes me think deep about life. I thank God for the waterfalls in my life.

Lisa

If you live in the Evansville, Indiana area you might know about the sunflower fields at Bluegrass Fish and Wildlife, unless you live under a rock like me! I just learned about it this summer.

My friend told me about these beautiful fields back in July and we planned to go together but our schedules didn’t allow that so I went by myself. I spent a good hour walking through these gigantic, precious, golden, and glorious flowers that were taller than me. I took tons of pictures trying to capture the moment. I was in awe.

There is something about being in stillness of nature that always makes me feel closer to God. It makes me realize just how small my worries are in the grand scheme of things. Whether I am sitting on a chair on my back patio watching the squirrels and listening to the birds sing, lying on a blanket on the beach soothing my soul to the sound of the crashing waves, or standing in the middle of a SEA OF SUNFLOWERS…I feel like I am a part of something much bigger than myself. It is an exhilarating, humbling feeling. These are the moments when I feel most ALIVE.

My friend and professional photographer, Bret Roebling, offered to photograph me in the sunflower fields at the Bluegrass Fish and Wild life preserve back in July and I gratefully accepted his offer. Click here to see some of the images he took of me and then check out his entire website at myphotographyevent.com. Bret has an amazing eye for capturing that feeling I had in the moment and it shines through in his photographs.

Bret told me they are gearing up for their Holiday 50% off portrait session through the month of September. You can contact him at bret@roebling.com or call 812-925-6920 to schedule an appointment.

So in awe of God’s creation and if you are like me, you would like to capture it forever to remember.

Blessings,

Stacey ~ iamalive

Click to play a short video:

Sunflowers Video 7/24/2017

Sometimes I wonder what my life would look like now if I hadn’t made that one big decision. Or that other big decision. Or even that little decision. Or the little one after that one. What if I had taken that job? What if I hadn’t ended that relationship? What if I had gone out with that guy a second time? What if I had told that person I adored from a distance how I felt? What if I had stayed in Cleveland in 1997? What if I had moved to Vancouver in 2003? What if I hadn’t rushed into my second marriage and sold my house and quit my good job in 2012?

What if? What if? What if?

My what if list seems endless. We are truly always just one decision away from a totally different life. The most important things I have learned about making decisions are:

1 – IF YOU DO NOT HAVE PEACE WITH YOUR DECISION YOU SHOULD NOT BE MAKING A DECISION YET.

Oh my goodness I should know this by now. When I am faced with a decision that is bringing turmoil, stress, uncertainty into my life…I should just wait until things become clearer. Making a decision for the sake of making a decision is not a good idea. When you don’t have peace with it, it is not part of God’s plan. When you make a decision under those circumstances, he always has a way of putting it to a halt. The best thing to do in this situation is to stop, breathe, and wait until things become clearer.

2 – GOD DOES NOT BRING TURMOIL AND CONFUSION!

This is basically a repeat of number 1 but I cannot stress this enough. I just went through something last month that stressed me out BIG TIME. I wrote about it (scroll back to Jump if you want to read more). A door opened for me out of the blue when I wasn’t even looking for one and instead of trusting my gut instinct that the timing was wrong and the decision would be a step backwards, I hemmed and hawed and stewed and struggled and stressed and asked about 15 of my closest friends what I should do. And I made myself physically sick over it. 

Note to self: When you have to ask a bunch of other people who do not walk in your shoes what you need to do with your life, something is WRONG. Also, when your body is rejecting this decision, something is WRONG. So I made a decision thinking it was the RIGHT thing based on the opinions of others although I KNEW it wasn’t a good one. Less than a week later God said “Not yet Stace” and closed the door I was about to walk through. Like he literally slammed it shut and threw away the key. No going back through that door ever again. It was a step backwards and a SAFE move but not a good one. He knew I would struggle if I kept going and he doesn’t want to see me struggle when I don’t have to. I am thankful for the closed door because I would be in a pickle right now if I had walked through it and ignored him. But he made sure I got back on course.

3 – THERE IS NO WRONG DECISION.

God is orchestrating my journey and he sees the big picture even when I don’t. However, I do have free will and ultimately I will do what I want. Thankfully he is there to guide me when I steer too far off course. Just like my dad corrected my handle bars when I was learning to ride my banana seat bike without training wheels. He allows me to choose my path. And when I screw up, he rescues me. The highways, back roads, side streets, or even the overgrown weeded dirt paths that I have to chop down or pull out weed by weed to get through will lead me to where I am supposed to be eventually. Every road I travel and every decision I make is a learning experience that is leading me to where I am supposed to be. I have faith in that no matter what I do or where I go, I am going to be okay.

I want to give up sometimes. I cannot lie. Believing God wants the best for me and is leading me to something greater is DIFFICULT when I seem to be stuck in limbo for a long time. But I must remember that I have been in this situation before. Waiting and watching and hoping and wondering WHEN IS SOMETHING GOING TO HAPPEN? WHEN WILL I MOVE FORWARD WITH MY LIFE AGAIN? I TRIED TO MOVE BUT THAT ROAD IS BLOCKED NOW. WHY? WHEN? WHAT IF?

But every time I have felt stuck in the past, eventually I moved forward to something greater. The being stuck part is where I learn the most. It is where I become aware of my past mistakes and learn to adjust back to the path I am supposed to be traveling on. God is always there, but I must show up for him too. Romans 8:35 “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?”

Trusting the closed road as well as the open one I reach next. And trusting that no matter what decision I make, God is guiding me home. 

Blessings,

Stacey ~ iamalive

Sharing Lisa’s second post here. This one really blessed me because I so relate to this story at this very moment in my life. I am sharing Lisa’s heart because I cannot find in me to share my own right now.

Blessings,

Stacey ~ iamalive

I read John 11 & Matthew 21:1-13 in the #f260 this morning. John 11 tells the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. Mary and Martha had sent word to Jesus that Lazarus was sick. Jesus doesn’t rush to his side to heal him. He takes his time. Lazarus had been dead 4 days by the time Jesus got to him and brought him back to life. I have a quote written in my Bible about this story. “In Martha’s hour of devastation and grief, Jesus didn’t tell her what He could do. Rather He told her He was-life itself.” Wow! I needed to hear this today.

When things don’t go as planned, uncertainty creeps in, or frustrations overflow blotting out my joy then I tend to focus my prayers on asking God to do this or not do this. What I need to focus on is the sovereignty of God and that He is everything. He has everything all planned out. I simply need to trust Him. I hear Him now asking me “Do you believe this?” Yes, Lord, I do. I will act like it. #lhtheword

Lisa