I have been very busy for the last couple of weeks. Keeping up with my blog has been difficult but I wanted to check in. Since my last zoo entry 2 weeks ago today I have been busy working, seeing friends, going to church, running, job searching, having some FUN and trying to get my life back in order. If you have read my earlier posts you know that I am at a crossroads in my life. Unfortunately, I officially filed for divorce from my husband one week ago today. This was one of the most difficult things I have faced in my life. It takes a great deal of courage to end something that you still believe in…that you do not want to end. But he left me exactly 3 months ago today and has told me it is over, so I must move on and I am and I will. I have prayed that he would change his mind but it looks like God wants us to take separate paths for whatever reason. I am trying to keep faith that things are going to be ok no matter what. I am feeling better everyday and gaining my joy back (finally!) that I somehow lost along the way. It is a bittersweet ending…a relationship that I thought would last forever is suddenly gone. My best friend is suddenly a stranger. Why??? I do not really even understand this yet myself but I am trusting God. I know I am blessed. Things could be a lot worse than they are now. I have a great roommate. I have great friends. I have reconciled with my long lost best friend from my teenage years which has been a complete blessing. She and I have picked up right where we left off more than 20 years ago and I am so thankful for her friendship. My cats are healthy and happy and always glad to see me! And my Dad is doing well…he looks forward to my visits every week. He is my inspiration.
The subject line to this post is inspired by a song “You Might Die Trying”…a song written by my favorite artist, Dave Matthews. I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Where do I want to live??? Where do I want to work??? What do I want to do with my life??? I want to help, I want to inspire, I want to do something. I want to help people in some way who are less fortunate than me. I have a tremendous soft spot elderly people and also for animals. (I admire my roommate very much because she fosters homeless animals). I want to do something with my life that combines the two…somehow…someday. “If you give, you begin to live”…I want to live.
“You Might Die Trying”
Start with one step.
However small,
The first step is hardest of all.Once you get your gate,
You will walk in tall.
You said you never did,
Cause you might die trying,
Cause you might die trying.
Cause you—
If you close your eyes,
Cause the house is on fire.
And think you couldn’t move,
Until the fire dies.
The things you never did,
Oh, cause you might die trying,
Cause you might die trying.
You’d be as good as dead,
Cause you might die trying,
Cause you might die trying.
If you give, you, you begin to live.
If you give, you begin to live.
You begin, you get the world.
If you give, you begin to give
You get the world, you get the world.
If you give, you begin to live.
You might die trying.
Oh, you might die trying.
Yeah, you might die trying.
The things you never did,
Cause you might die trying;
You’d be as good as dead.
You never did.