Do you ever have one of those days where you just feel joyful for no reason? And then one of your favorite songs comes on the radio and your tears start leaking like a faucet because you feel the Holy Spirit moving inside of you??? Do ya???

That happens to me a lot lately. It happened today. It is a wave of emotion where my fears, doubts, and worries are washed away with God’s love. I didn’t always have these experiences though. I drifted along for so many years just going through the motions…emotionless. I remember going to my old church on one occasion when I was in my early 20’s. I think we must have had some family in from out of town because I had stopped going to church by that point except the traditional Easter Sunday and Christmas services. The Sunday I am thinking about was likely an Easter service. This was 20+ years ago and I honestly do not remember what I was dealing with in my life that particular day but I remember the feeling I had when I was in church that morning. I took in the beauty of the sanctuary. I was always in awe of the stained glass window in the front. I soaked in the music and the sermon and being in the presence of other believers. And in the midst of everything I felt an over whelming wave of joy wash over me and I began to sob uncontrollably. I hid my face in my long hair so nobody would notice. I needed God in my life desperately back then just as I do now. He was radioing in and I was starting to listen. But after I left that day I tuned him back out. I was too ashamed to turn to Him. I didn’t think I was good enough yet. I thought I could handle it on my own. I didn’t truly realize that I had already been forgiven.

An old friend of mine who attended the same church when we were growing up shared some pictures of the sanctuary on her Instagram page recently. Seeing those pictures brought back so many memories from my childhood. I spent a lot of time in that building up until I was in high school when I quit going. (When I needed it most). Seeing her pictures reminded me of that Sunday when God was reaching for me. I was reaching for him. But I let go. This time I am hanging on tight. Life is too precious and sweet and scary and difficult to try and walk through it all alone. And I kind of like having those little moments like I had today. It reminds me how blessed I am. When everything in life feels so uncertain, one thing remains constant. His love is unfailing.

Blessings,

Stacey ~ iamalive