I went to see the new James Bond movie a month or so ago. It was a random weekday after work and I didn’t feel like going home so I went to a matinee. I adore 007 movies partly because it is something I remember watching with my dad growing up. Mom liked Leave it to Beaver, Andy Griffith and I Love Lucy. Dad enjoyed westerns, science fiction and 007. I am pretty well rounded in old school television and movies. 😉
The thing I like most about James Bond is that he is a survivor. No, I don’t condone the senseless killings but I have to remember it is just a movie for pure entertainment purposes. I am just drawn to a character that can walk out of the fire with a few scars but never look back and never broken. One of my favorite scenes in the latest movie, Specter was at the beginning. James basically blew up the building across from the one he was standing on and the falling building began to fall toward him. Not only did he walk away from the rubble unharmed, he had fallen from several stories and landed safely on a couch! Because why not? His cars were usually demolished but he just always seemed to have a guardian angel looking after him.
I can so relate. I have so many stories to write about here, stories of survival and victory…stories of excitement and living the high life. Stories where I could have gotten into a lot of trouble. I lost things in the process of all of the excitement but I physically came out unharmed. I find myself not sharing the really deep details though. I am saving those things for the book! There is a fine line between sharing and over sharing.
I am still in this season of waiting and reflecting and learning to trust God. Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel like through all of the waiting I am not truly living. But when I think about the things I did and the places I went in my 20s and 30s…I actually already lived a lifetime. I am not proud of all of my choices but I do not live with regret. For my choices molded me into the person I am today and I am grateful for that.
For example, If I hadn’t met a guy from Canada in the Dave Matthews Band website chat room one afternoon in April of 2003…I never would have fallen in love with the Pacific Northwest. I probably wouldn’t have begun an adventure of following DMB across the country to nearly 50 concerts…including one of my favorite spots on Earth, the Columbia River gorge in the middle of Washington State. I wouldn’t have chartered a sailboat in the English Bay. I wouldn’t have been married on a black rock secluded beach in Maui. I wouldn’t have taken 4 trips to Cancun in less than a year and a half. I wouldn’t have met certain people that relationship put in my path that are still in my life today. And that just covers age 31-35, my “Canuck years!”
My iPhone died yesterday. The guy at the phone store could not figure out what was wrong and all he could do was scratch his head and say “hmm.” When he asked his coworker for a second opinion…I heard the same response “hmm.” They basically told me they would exchange my “hmm” phone for one exactly the same or I could upgrade to one with more storage and a plan with more data for about $20 more per month than I have been paying. I thought to myself “hmm”, and I went for the new phone. $20 extra per month is actually a lot for me at the moment but sometimes you just have to step out in faith and do the next best thing that is right in front of you. A higher bill doesn’t exactly make sense for me right now but not having to juggle my apps and constantly delete pictures has become very tiresome and downright stressful at times. The downside to this occurrence was that I lost all of my notes that I had kept in my phone since 2011. I had A LOT of information stored there and it is gone forever. But on the bright side, I have an opportunity to start new. I really do not need to look back at old notes from 4 years ago…except if I am looking for something to quite possibly get mad or upset about.
So all is not lost. There is always plan B if plan A didn’t work out.
Starting a new journey can be scary. And like the past, it probably will not be perfect. But if you trust that God has you right where you are supposed to be you will overcome any obstacle the world puts in your way.
It is almost a new year. I am beginning it with a new phone and a clean slate and not looking back. If I fall off the cliff I am going to build my plane on the way down and soar. The plane (or couch in 007’s case) is God’s hand scooping me up when I fall saying, “Dear one, don’t fret. You can handle this! You are ALIVE!”
Oh how I am alive! Oh how I have lived!
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive