I feel like I have been losing people in my life left and right over the last couple of years. When I look back it amazes me how many people have come and gone since I began this journey. I catch myself often wondering “What am I doing wrong?”
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something sometime in your life.” ~ Winston Churchill
At this point I have no other choice but to stand up. I don’t know anything else. A friend on Instagram commented on one of my posts yesterday “I love your comments! You are always in charge of how you feel.” I took that as a great compliment because for most of my life I have stumbled around asking others for answers, approval, and acceptance when the answers have been inside me all along. The only one I need to be worried about being accepted by is God. What a relief to not have to worry about pleasing the world anymore.
A “best friend” came back into my life in 2013 right after my second husband and I separated. She was in a difficult period also and we picked up right where we left off when we parted ways around the tender age of 19. We had a major falling out and our lives took totally different paths. We were like Thelma and Louise in High School though; thankfully we didn’t drive off the cliff. We are two strong independent women (who weren’t always that way) who have different outlooks on life however. We have both been through a lot of different things and we are both survivors. She believes that Jesus Christ is her Lord and savior, as do I. Yet we approach certain things differently. Our rekindled friendship was over almost as quickly as it began about four months into it when we had a misunderstanding. Actually it was NOT a misunderstanding. We actually do understand each other. We just do not agree. The beginning of the end was when she tagged me in a post on Facebook that I thought was inappropriate. It was vulgar in my opinion and I didn’t want any part of it. In me feeling offended, I offended her when I stood up for myself and that was when our relationship began to suffer. It ended shortly after for a totally different reason but the thread was already breaking. We had a negative feeling about each other. I felt she was wrong and she felt I was wrong (I am putting words in her mouth as I type this because she and I no longer speak and she cannot defend herself…this is just my take on the entire situation). Two people who were extremely close in our teens and again in our 40s parted ways because we just approached life differently. We failed to accept each other for who we were and where we were at in life at that moment. We were living self-righteously and our relationship was destroyed because of it.
I see a pattern in my life and I use that experience as an example. Yes, I do believe God places people in our lives at certain times for a reason. We are to learn something from each other and then move on. Only a select few seem to remain in our lives forever. Sometimes however we cut off relationships that could add more richness and meaning to our lives simply out of pride. “I am right and she is wrong so that is that.” I am guilty of that more often than I like to admit. I really like the Winston Churchill quote. I believe in standing up for what is right. But when I fall into the trap that everyone doesn’t think like me so I do not need him or her in my life…that isn’t the right approach. As followers of Christ we are to point people toward him and sometimes it is not always pretty. That means we have to get REAL. Most people do not want to get real. They instead hide behind their flowery words and beautiful music instead of getting dirty and doing the REAL work. My hands are dirty as I type this message. I am putting my inner self out there for the world to see because that is what I have been called to do. I am extremely vulnerable and that is scary. But when you crawl out of the covers and into the light you begin to live. Some people are afraid to live. Some of us are supposed to show them how by loudly lifting up Jesus and fearlessly living out the truth.
John 12:32 “For I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself.”
And to my dear old friend from my teens and 40s…if you ever read this I am proud of you and I admire the way you handle things…we are just different and that is okay. God is with us. We are sheep…following our shepherd as best as we know how.
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive
http://youtu.be/wZTJKTc4PqA