Lent Day 18

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I attended a couple of writing conferences last year that were well worth my time and expense. I brought a ton of information home with me that I am still digesting and learning to apply to my writing. A  presenter in one of the classes mentioned something that I think about often. She said if you are serious about having a successful blog, you must be prepared to share it with people you know in real life. My heart sank. That scared me. I have always been hesitant about sharing on Facebook because the majority of friends there are people I have known at some point in my life through school, church, work, or even family. There is a deeper feeling of vulnerability in sharing with people who know the REAL you. I know some of my writer/blogger friends will relate. But it is something I am gradually beginning to overcome.

Matthew 13:57-58 And then they were deeply offended and refused to believe him. Then Jesus told them, “A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his own family.” And so he did only a few miracles there because of their unbelief.

I read that passage recently and it nearly jumped out and bit me! I am no miracle worker but I am a disciple. My fear has been that people who do not know enough about my journey or my story will judge me based on facts that they do not understand and conclude that I am seeking attention or “playing the victim” by sharing. So instead I have chosen to share mainly with strangers who do not know me personally. I told my friend that I could fly to the moon and back or cure cancer and share it on FB and get 450 post views and only 2 “likes.” And to be honest, that is perfectly fine with me. The people out there who need to hear my message will find me. Right now I hope to be speaking to some of my writer friends who feel discouraged. Your story WILL resonate with those who need to hear it. If there is just one person out there who clicks “Like” then you have done your job by sharing your heart.

Something amazing happened to me Sunday morning. I left a lot of insecurities, fears, and doubts in that water at church. I have been dealing with anxiety for about a month and it has subsided almost completely. I keep looking at the pictures my friend took during the baptism service and it makes my heart SMILE with joy. I was lost for such a long time and now I feel like that little girl who used to ride her yellow banana seat bike up and down that dead end street honking the little horn, just because. I have literally broken out in dance around my apartment multiple times and I don’t dance! For someone who is unemployed and still in waiting mode in many areas of life…that reminds me my faith is stronger than I even realized. God WILL provide. I am going to let God be my God, and all I need to do is just be me…

Blessings,

Stacey ~ iamalive

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