So, like I said earlier this month…when I say I am going to write the chances that I am going to write consistently are slim. But I am back, today.
I attended a women’s leadership conference in Nashville on 11/9 and 11/10. Since I have returned home I have been digesting everything I heard those two days and trying to figure out how it applies to my life right now. Mainly, it was a kick in the butt to remember what I need to be focused on intentionally every single day. And that ONE thing is Jesus. Nothing much else matters. But even after all of the listening and learning and soaking it all in…I still feel blah and depressed without much energy. I did absolutely nothing yesterday besides take a nap and eat. I go back to my old ways and forget so quickly. (Depression ain’t fun y’all).
This morning I woke up intending to go to church. That will make me feel better, right? I showered and took my time and piddled around and the next thing I knew it was 15 minutes until the service started. No way I could make it on time so I didn’t go to early church. Instead I curled up in a ball on the floor. While lying there I had the idea that I needed to get off of social media for the rest of the year. It can be a major distraction for me if I allow it to be and I certainly do allow it sometimes. Maybe that is what I need to focus on? Unfocusing on social media???
I was in the middle of texting my friend to tell her what I was planning to do and my phone turned off. Do you know what I mean? Have you ever been in the middle of typing a message and the screen goes black and the phone seems to reboot all by itself? It is soooooo annoying! Well, when this happened to me today I was mad for a split second. Then when it turned back on my battery was at 41%. Do ya’ll know what the number 41 means to me? It is my angel number and when I see it I take it as God telling me to trust him and to keep moving forward.
Wow. Okay God, so you don’t want me to take a break from social media although I feel like I am suffocating? What DO you want me to do??? I literally raised my hands and asked this question out loud. Then I noticed the bracelet I am wearing on my left arm.
I am wearing a bracelet on my left arm because at the conference one of our leaders asked us to remove either our watch or bracelet we were wearing and place it on the opposite arm. Ya’ll know how awkward that feels if you have ever done this, right? So she asked us to continue to wear it on the arm that is uncomfortable until Thanksgiving as a constant reminder to remain steadfast and to live vertically. “A mind governed by the spirit leads to life and peace.” My bracelet on the wrong arm is a reminder to keep my focus upward. Ah ha! That is what he wants me to do.
So I got up. I am going to late church and then I am going to go visit my dad at the nursing home. And I am not going to give up today. And I am going to take each day as it comes and tackle it when I get there.
What am a grateful for today? Cell phones that mysteriously turn off when I’m typing a “I am giving up message.” Awkward feeling bracelets. Strong women in my life who encourage me. Coffee. Laughter. Jesus.
Watch for signs you guys.
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive