I had a tough day at work today. I am working part time on a vegetable farm right now. Some days are fun and some days kick me in the butt. Today was the latter.
We were digging potatoes and it began to rain. I was already sore, filthy, miserably uncomfortable and exhausted. Then the mud got muddier. And heavier. And every single part of me was drenched, yet we continued to work. The rain jacket I retrieved after I was already soaked did bring some comfort but really it was a bit too late. I had about an inch of water INSIDE my rain boots. To say I had some negative thoughts going through my head is a bit mild. I wanted to quit right there. I hated life.
Then one of my coworkers threw a mud ball at me. It didn’t hit me. I thought it was an animal in the weeds at first…then she threw another one. I started laughing when just seconds before I was crying on the inside. This girl was happily playing in the mud and rejoicing about the fact that, “How many people get paid to play in the mud all day?!” She was dancing around and enjoying every moment of this rainy miserable day. She was making the best out of a crappy situation. Meanwhile I had only been complaining and mad about being uncomfortable.
I used to complain a lot about everything. I catch myself doing it often still. I do realize when I am doing it now though opposed to before. My negative self-talk voice controlled me. When the chips were down I folded under the pressure. I threw fuel onto the fire and wondered why I was burning. I somehow seemed to enjoy wallowing in the self-pity. I created storms because they made me feel alive at least. When you are fighting you at least feel something, right?
I don’t want my emotions to be ruled by the changing weather anymore. Rain is necessary for crops to grow just as the storms of life are necessary for me to grow. I can choose to drown or stay afloat and at least enjoy the view until the sun shines again. Because it ALWAYS does shine again.
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive41