I was talking with a friend the other day about our experiences with having braces when we were teenagers. She is much younger than me so she had the fancy colorful little rubber bands wrapped around her brackets. Mine were old school. Remember the dark grey bands that made your teeth look black when you smiled? I have a mental image of my 8th grade school picture in my head now…not pretty! Oh and there was another difference between us. I had bottom braces TWICE because I neglected to wear my retainer the first time. (My parents were not happy with me to say the least). But in our experiences we did have one thing in common…going to the orthodontist periodically for an adjustment. (Which was basically close to torture!) My mouth was sore for a couple of days after those dreaded appointments.
I am going through an adjustment of a different kind right now but it feels equally painful.
Sometimes you make choices in life without putting much thought into the outcome. If you are lucky things work out but more times than not they don’t. Other times you are afraid to move because you have made so many poor choices in life that you do not want to screw up again. And sometimes you pray and wait for God’s perfect timing. When something comes along that feels in line with what He wants, you make the choice to change your life. But even with seeking guidance from God, things do not always turn out as YOU wanted.
I never expected to be job searching again this soon. And I have never filed for unemployment in my life. I have another issue that is weighing on me regarding my insurance or I should say lack thereof. I found out I have been uninsured since the first of the year for reasons I do not understand yet. I told my friend today that all of this is beginning to weigh on me and her response was “you are just going through an adjustment.” She is right. And all of it is a distraction from my purpose.
A fellow blogger and friend sent me a clip from Dead Poet’s Society a couple of weeks ago and asked me to watch and let her know what “my verse” was. It’s been years since I saw that movie and I finally watched it last night. John Keating’s character (played by Robin Williams) spoke the following:
We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, “O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?” Answer. That you are here – that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?
The meaning of life is a life of purpose.
I am here. Life exists. And I have the opportunity to contribute a verse. Lack of a job or insurance are simply what my other friend said…”a life adjustment.” The important thing to remember is that I am ALIVE. My faith is strong. God has been SO good to me throughout my life even when I failed to recognize it. I am passionate and full of gratitude and I have SO much more to contribute.
I stopped at Denny’s for breakfast yesterday after I left the unemployment office. I didn’t have much food at home and I had not eaten much for a couple of days because my stomach has been upset. Scrambled egg whites and grits sounded good. While I sat there in a booth waiting for my food and drinking my coffee, I noticed an older gentlemen sitting in the booth right beside me enjoying his breakfast. He was handicapped to some extent and had a walker beside him. He was friendly with all of the waitresses and they all seemed to know him well. I imagined he was a regular there. But when he talked to them he had difficulty speaking. His voice was weak and raspy. I thought that maybe he had throat cancer in the past or something. But he had a smile on his face and seemed to be full of joy. I was happy to be sitting beside him.
After a few minutes I noticed a young couple come up to him and thank him. They told him they were missionaries and they were extremely blessed that he had secretly paid for their meal. (I don’t think he intended for them to know who did it). At any rate, hearing that conversation filled my heart with so much joy. I have NO IDEA what that man had been through in his life but I have a feeling there were a lot of valleys along the way. Yet he was still moving forward. And he was helping others in the process. He smiled at me when he left and said, “Have a great day, Miss.” I smiled back and asked him to do the same! Shortly after, my waitress came to refill my coffee and she told me he had paid for my meal. Tears instantly began flowing. He had NO IDEA about my situation. We had not spoken other than the goodbye when he left. My heart was so full. Thank you, my dear Jerry. You are an Angel on Earth.
I responded to my friend last night after I watched the movie and told her my verse is “I am doing the best I can.” That is my verse today. Maybe it will change tomorrow. I am not in the best place I have ever been in my life. But I know it is not over yet. I am in a valley and I am making some adjustments. The changes are aligning me with where God wants me to be. For now I am focusing on the 24 hours in front of me, embracing the changes and doing the best I can.
What will your verse be?
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive