While riding my bike Saturday afternoon I had a flashback from my time in Japan two years ago. There was a gentle breeze in the air and I was transported back to Okinawa to the day I rode a bicycle through a canopy of Fuguki trees seeking spiritual healing and hope. God spoke to me that day whispering in my ear that I was going to be okay. My life was not over because I had failed at marriage, again.
That same feeling rushed over me yesterday and I felt a peace that I have not felt for a long time. I am still going to be okay.
I have been dealing with a lot of random inconveniences lately that I have allowed to take control of my thoughts and steal my joy. My first world problems have clouded my sight and I have become lost in a fog…struggling to find my way out. I found myself lying on the floor in my apartment not once but twice last week crying out to God for help. I turned off all of my social media for 24 hours because I felt like a major hypocrite posting positivity when I was in an extreme negative state of mind. It was also difficult to go to work and act like everything was just fine. Depression set in and I became numb. I became hopeless.
“Where are you God? Have You forgotten me???”
How selfish and ridiculous was that?!?! I am ashamed of myself.
It is SO easy to backslide into negative thinking though. Just when I think I have it conquered, Satan winks at me and tells me “Not yet, Stace.” He shortens my name like my friends and family do…trying to snuggle up beside me to take control of my thoughts…and my life.
Not anymore DEVIL. I am done with you! You have NO power here!
I have about eight pages of notes from my journey this week and if I try to write everything here it will be a convoluted mess. (More so than normal 😉 ) The main theme however is the same. It is about that daily JOB of putting on the full armor of God enabling me to stand firmly in my faith to face anything that comes my way. My little problems are nothing compared to things I have overcome in my past. They are nothing compared to the problems over a billion people on this earth face everyday…mainly not knowing if they are going to eat today or not. My refrigerator is full. I have a floor in my apartment and a roof over my head. I am more than blessed.
By not knowing who I was in Christ for so many years I was lost and alone fumbling through pretty much everything. I am still working my way through that fog but I am definitely not alone now. The battle is not mine alone. God is with me holding my hand through all of it. He is teaching me to stop looking back in bitterness and only look forward with better-ness. He is teaching me humility. He is teaching me to be obedient. He is teaching me to be courageous. He is teaching me to stand firmly in my faith. He is teaching me to be righteous. He is teaching me to be content with NOW. He is teaching me to be a messenger of peace, love and encouragement.
He trusts me a lot more than I trust myself.
You know when you have those little gut feelings that something you are doing is not quite right? You know those times when you are in a situation where you do not belong? Listen to those feelings and stop what you are doing. That is God telling you that you are worth so much more. Stop lowering your standards because something feels good in that moment. Stop surrounding yourself with people who bring you down. Stop and listen for the truth. You might hear it on a Saturday afternoon bike ride. You might hear it while you are lying on the floor curled up in a ball. Listen for it wherever you are…whenever you need it. You know the truth already. Live by that truth. It WILL set you free.
Putting on the armor of God is not just about going to battle. It is about finding peace through all of life’s trials and struggles because of what God has done for you through Jesus Christ. It is about being secure in your relationship with Him, knowing no matter what happens, you WILL be okay.
Ephesians 6:11-12 “Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”
I had a couple of songs picked out for this entry but I heard a song that spoke to me when I woke up from a nap this afternoon that I haven’t heard in a while. It made me think a lot. It is not the normal contemporary Christian song that I post…I do enjoy all kinds of music. The beautiful thing about music is that you can interpret it in a way that speaks to you.
“I do believe in the light. Raise your hands to the sky. The fight is done. The war is won. Lift your hands toward the sun (son).” ~ Thirty Seconds to Mars
This is peace.
Armor up! Have a blessed week!
Stacey ~ iamalive
P.S. My call is to inspire and encourage others, but I need it too. Thank you my sweet angel friend for praying for me and for praying with me last week…and for just being there. I appreciate you. 🙂