Matthew 5:48 “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Did you read that??? Hallelujah!
Growing up was hard. I was a shy, awkward, introverted child. My mother suffered from mental illness and my dad worked 12 hour days most of the time. I was an excellent student in elementary school but my life began to take a downward spiral at a very tender age. I always had several good friends but at some point girls began to pick on me. I was different. (Kids can be just plain cruel.) I remember crying just about everyday in the 6th grade because someone who had been a very close friend turned on me. I still do not understand why or remember exactly what happened. I just remember the tears and the feelings of not being good enough.
Low self-esteem took control and my grades began to plummet. I don’t think my parents noticed what was happening. I totally lost interest in school by the time I was a sophomore. I didn’t have many close girlfriends anymore and the ones I did have were on similar, negative paths. I began to make poor choices. I hung around with boys who smoked pot and drank and skipped school. I tried all of the above. I lost my virginity way too young. Thankfully I didn’t totally cross over to the dark side…I definitely flirted with it though. And I did all of that so that I could “fit in.” I didn’t want to be the girl that got picked on. I wanted to be liked. The problem was that I didn’t fit in with the “wrong crowd” either. I knew in my heart those things were wrong.
I WAS AND I AM UNIQUE AND DIFFERENT AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. IF YOU FEEL THIS WAY, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU EITHER!!!
I still do not fit it to this day. My introverted personality prevents me from making friends easily. And honestly I don’t feel the need to make friends for the sake of making a lot of friends. This isn’t high school anymore and I realize the people who are in my life now have been placed there for a reason. Some have been distractions along the way but as I grow closer to God in my walk through this life…I am becoming more aware of who is meant to be there and who isn’t.
God always gives us tests. The tests come as distractions to see if we have learned from our mistakes. Sometimes I pass and sometimes I fail. And no matter whom I am dealing with or what I am going through, I know it is by His grace that I get through.
My heart goes out to the families who lost their loved ones in the Oregon shooting last week. I admire those who lost their lives for standing up for their beliefs. If someone stuck a gun to my head and asked me if I was a Christian I would say yes. A few years ago my answer would have probably been different. But I KNOW what He has done for me and by standing firm in my faith…I am choosing to give glory to Him. He deserves it. He created everything.
Lord, I am not perfect and never claimed to be…and never will be. I have been lost and broken. I have made poor choices and I have stumbled and I have fallen. In my weakness I am a sinner. But through all of my messes, You still love me. Thank You for loving me the way You do. In Jesus’ name Amen.
I am a Christian. I am an imperfectly perfect child of God. And I have been saved by His grace. And so have you if you choose to welcome Him into your heart and believe.
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive
“Welcome to my silly life.” ~ Pink
http://youtu.be/-BIye98Ryic