March is definitely coming in like a lion in more ways than one for me this year. There is still snow and ice on the ground in southern Indiana and it is March 1st! But there is also another storm brewing in my life…the winds of change are finally upon me, in a very positive way. My season of “limbo” that I have written about quite often…is coming to an end.
This change that I find myself in has not felt very positive however. I almost titled this blog entry “A Vacuum cleaner, Chick Peas and a Fork”…my week has been completely CRAY-CRAY. But isn’t that how it usually goes? When things start to move in your life…everything for whatever reason all seems to happen at once.
Let me explain a little…
Last Friday I sold my vacuum cleaner to a man I had been going back and forth with who I had connected with initially on Craigslist. I have sold many items on there over the years and I had my vacuum cleaner for sale for a very long time. The place I was living had hardwood floors and I really didn’t need it anymore…it was just taking up space. My Craigslist guy seemed interested but every time we arranged to meet he cancelled. It was actually becoming comical and I was starting to think…maybe God wants me to keep that vacuum cleaner for some reason! We finally connected last weekend though and all was well, so I thought. Until two days later…last Monday…I found myself in a situation where I needed to find a new place to live. And guess what? The place I rented just 2 days after selling my vacuum cleaner had carpeted floors!!! I thought…Isn’t that just typical?
At that point the vacuum cleaner was the least of my worries…it was now time to pack up and prepare to move…in 4 days. I am the type of person who NEEDS change to stay interested, inspired and positive. But…I cannot lie…the entire process stresses me out. Moving is a MAJOR life change. You get used to your surroundings and then suddenly you are somewhere else. I have moved as many times in the last 2.5 years as I moved in my entire life up to that point. When you move there are many things to remember. I wrote lists on my hands while I was at work everyday as I thought of things I needed to take care of and I looked like I had some very strange tattoos! I collected boxes, I changed my mailing address, I made appointments to have internet and utilities turned on at my new home etc. etc. etc. There is just a lot to do! I forgot to eat dinner a couple of evenings because I got too busy. One morning in a rush before work I managed to drop a bag of trash onto my street at 5am (in 20 degree temps). There I was sitting in the street scraping up cat litter mixed with the chick peas I had dumped out that I had planned to eat in my salads that week (that I forgot to eat)…as well as a lot of other not so pleasing things that I’d discarded while packing…not a pleasant start to the day! When the bag busted in the road I just laughed out loud. What else could I have done at that point?
My move went about as expected. Ugly and not fun at all but I had a GREAT helper (thank you Chester!!! 😉 ) and it is over. A good friend donated her bed and some other items that I needed. And my cats have adjusted and we have only been here 24 hours. So all is well. Except for the fact that I can only find ONE fork. How did I lose all of my forks and nothing else? Again, I had to laugh. There were some other interesting events and ugly things that happened but those were the laughable highlights. I’m going to not dwell on the bad stuff…what is done is done.
After all of that I could not wait to go to church this morning!!! The message was again on the topic of finding happiness in your life. And it definitely hit home today with the things I had been dealing with over the last week. I TRY my best to be a good person and a good Christian but I fail over and over again. I am a sinner. I feel guilty. I feel ashamed. I am not perfect. But I get up each day and put my pants on and brush my teeth and I try my best. You definitely learn who your TRUE friends are when you are going through a life changing event. I apologize to those I have offended or hurt during my hours of stressing out or grouchiness. And I forgive those who have offended or hurt me. What else can I do? I can either sit here and dwell on the negatives or I can move forward. So, I am choosing to move forward. But instead of choosing to move forward with MY plans….I am choosing to move forward with God’s plans for my life. Sometimes I try SO hard to create my own story that I forget God has a different agenda for me. When I realize that I need to accept what He has given me and accept my place in the story He has already mapped out for me…life doesn’t seem so stressful. When you have faith in His plan…instead of worrying, stressing and fighting it…life becomes more peaceful. Life becomes happier.
As I am lying in bed with my cats typing this…I feel at home in my new place. Things are quieting down and life is moving forward. And I have a feeling March will go out like a lamb. Change is just a part of life. You can embrace it or you can fight it. I am choosing to accept my place in God’s story for me and I am excited to read the next chapter. I hope that whatever chapter you are in now in your life that you realize that He has a plan for you too. No matter how bad things feel right now…they WILL GET BETTER.
God bless,
Stacey ~ iamalive
P.S. When the guy from Craigslist takes two months to buy an item from you…it is probably a sign that you are supposed to keep it! 🙂