Lent Day 11

I visited my dad at the nursing home today as I usually do on Sunday afternoon. He seemed in good spirits but he was not feeling like himself. He couldn’t really tell me what was wrong. Then he got sick and vomited while sitting in his recliner. He ate dinner later and said his stomach was fine but I could tell something wasn’t exactly right. I stayed longer than I normally do because he didn’t want me to leave. I didn’t want to go. I have a feeling he might be catching a bug or something but I still worry. My dad means the world to me.

When I visit and he is having an off day, I find myself having the “what if” thoughts. The last time he was sick he was hospitalized for almost two weeks in 2013 with a really bad case of pneumonia. He beat malignant melanoma around 2010. He almost died on my 35th birthday when he had a major heart attack in 2007. In 2003 he had emergency surgery to have a cerebral shunt implanted in his brain to relieve excess cerebrospinal fluid that was not draining properly, giving him excruciating pain. And he overcame prostrate cancer in the early 90’s. He is nothing less than a survivor. He is a warrior. I don’t know why I worry so much, but I do.

The worry about my dad today combined with everything else that is going on in my life right now, made me anxious. I felt defeated when I arrived home and didn’t feel much like writing. When I sat down to type my phone rang. It was my best friend who lives in Japan. She is in NYC this week on business so she called me before her week gets hectic. Her call could not have come at a better time. She listened to me talk for 1.5 hours. She REALLY listened to me. Sometimes we just need a friend to listen. I thank God for bringing her into my life 22 years ago. She has listened. And listened more. And listened more than that. We used to write snail mail letters to each other almost weekly because she moved back to the other side of the world after we graduated from college. I miss the letters. Email took over eventually. And in between the letters and the emails we have met numerous times through the years. She has been here to visit me and I have been to visit her and we have been to warm locations such as Miami, Daytona, San Diego, Okinawa, and Orlando. We even took a 2,000-mile road trip together from Kentucky to Seattle and Bellingham, Wa in a tiny Geo Metro crammed full of all of her belongings once. Mount Rushmore was too foggy to see the day we stopped and Yellowstone was closed due to snow (although we did brave an icy mountain before we realized we weren’t supposed to be there!) but we still enjoyed the ride. We have experienced a lot of life together. As time has passed and life has become busier our emails are less frequent. She works long days and has a long commute into the city. She takes care of her home, husband, son, dad, and her cats. And she does the best she can at home and at her demanding job even when she is tired.

She was tired and jet lagged today but managed to listen to me talk for 1.5 hours while sitting in her hotel room tonight. I told her about my dad being sick. She has met my dad a couple of times. She met my mom before she passed as well. And I met her mom before she passed and I have spent a lot of time with her dad too. We are not just friends. We are family. Just talking to her about my dad and my “stuff” put me at ease because she understands. (That is rare if you know me 😉 ) And thankfully I am blessed to have a handful of these friends. We might not all be of the same faith or have the exact same beliefs about everything. But I relate to each of them in unique ways, and we have a common bond. We are women.

That Proverbs verse is comforting to me. It gives me peace knowing that someday if and when I do lose my blood family and I am left alone…I do still have family. Family is everything. Friendship is everything. Within those bonds you learn what love is. You learn how to say what needs to be said to help that person whether they want to hear the particular advice you are giving or not. Judgment and walls crumble. Encouraging words and new perspectives are given. And sometimes you just stick by each other and listen.

Feeling thankful.

Blessings,

Stacey ~ iamalive

I chose an older photo from my first visit to Tokyo 12/31/1998. A Kentucky girl would or course bump into Colonel Sanders in Japan!