Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” 1 Kings 19:5
Depression hurts. We will most likely all experience depressed feelings when we are down in the valleys. It is part of the normal cycle of life. Without depression, would we truly know what joy feels like? If we were happy and joyful all of the time would we even realize it then?
I have written a lot about my mom here. She suffered from manic-depressive disorder. Her highs were Mount Everest highs and her lows were so low that she wanted to die. And she did die as a result of it. Depression for me is feeling so tired and drained that nothing can fix it, not even sleep. Maybe it could be compared to the feeling of doing extreme manual labor for days on end…the body wears down and you become physically tired. But depression is a state of mind that seems to alter the body without even doing any sort of physical labor. It is completely a labor of the mind taking over the body. I have been there. I have been through seasons of life that went on for months on end feeling that way. After a divorce or a break up. After the death of a loved one. After a multitude of negative things all taking over at once. But then one day you wake up without even realizing it and you feel “normal” again. For me now, I am somewhat better at managing it so it doesn’t get to that point of no return. By sticking to my daily routine even when the world around me is crumbling down, I force myself to keep going. I get up each day and do the best I can. I crave naps and sometimes I take them, but then I get up and complete a task on my to-do list whether I feel like doing it or not.
The Bible verse I shared describes Elijah when he was in a depressed state and prayed to God that he would just die. An angel told him to get up and eat…to do something ordinary.
God is everywhere. He is in the ordinary everyday mundane things. And that is where I find the most peace when I have the kind of tired that sleep doesn’t fix.
You must keep on moving though. With each step…a bit closer to the light.
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive