We eat miso soup nearly every single day here in Japan. It is like comfort food. It is prepared differently depending on who makes it and what ingredients are on hand but the stock is basically the same flavor and consistency. I love it and I look forward to it kind of like I used to enjoy my mom’s chicken and dumplings or even canned chicken noodle soup. It is a food that I have enjoyed since my first trip to Japan but I don’t eat very often at home so I will savor it while I am here. For the last three days I have not eaten any miso soup though.
Have you ever been so sick with a flu or cold or some weird bug that you worried you might just die? I just survived that kind of experience. Maybe I am being overly dramatic but there were moments when I stared at the ceiling and wondered if I was going to die in the bunk bed my best friend’s son is letting me sleep in while I am here. I have been suffering with an illness since I arrived in Japan on 4/17. I didn’t know what was wrong at first but I tired easily and I had a sore throat and achy feeling that would come and go. Some days I could function okay for several hours and other days I just needed to rest. The last three days were days of only rest. My body hit a wall and I just couldn’t go any farther. I ran out of fuel.
I have a daily morning routine. First I read from a one year devotional that I started last September. I follow that by checking the First5 app by Proverbs 31 Ministries and read the daily teaching as well as the email devotional they send out every morning. Next, my church is currently doing a 50-day run of 2.5-minute video teachings, so I watch every morning on the One Life Network app. Finally, I read my Bible. It sounds like a lot of studying but it usually takes me about 30-45 minutes depending how long I sit with it. I found that if I do this routine first thing in the morning…I have a much better, more focused day. I am focused on what is important instead of fumbling through the day on my own. I decided not to change my routine up while here in Japan. And although I am receiving the emails, and updates at odd times, I am still taking the time to stick with it. Until I got sick.
My friend has been telling me that when my fever comes I will feel better. Well it finally came. I laid in the top bunk looking at the glowing stars and moons on the wallpapered ceiling and thought to myself, “I am going to die here,” For three days I didn’t feel well enough to stick to my reading and study routine. I found out that three days away from God is not a good thing for me. I started having really negative thoughts. “I knew I was not supposed to make this trip at this time. God is punishing me for being disobedient. Nobody back home cares about me anyway so I may as well just die here. There are no English-speaking doctors here so I am just going to die. Why did I have to get sick on the way here? I always get sick going home, not coming. Why me? I am not going to enjoy the rest of this trip at all. Was the guy beside me on the plane sick? Why didn’t he wear a mask??? Die. Die. Die.”
Things like that crossed my mind. (Maybe worse things but you get the idea). Isn’t that CRAZY??? It amazes me how quickly I can get off track. Being sick was not my fault and I had a good reason to not keep up with my reading but I was so obsessed and scared about being ill and being so far away from home and everything that I know that I even forgot to pray. Although I have a good friend and nurse here taking care of me…I felt very alone. Instead of the negative thoughts, I could have been thanking God for her being here to help me! She constantly brought me food, drinks, medicine, and even a cold rag and ice pack when I needed it. I could’ve also been thanking Him for being with me through this seemingly never-ending virus. The one I thought I was going to die from. My goodness. (When I have these experiences I realize why I was not supposed to have kids…I am the BIGGEST kid myself).
So anyway, I kind of gave up a little. I was afraid.
My fever broke this morning and I am feeling MUCH BETTER tonight. I read the last three days readings in my Bible this afternoon. I had dinner with my friend and her family and I got outside and went for a walk. I feel alive, again. And I am thankful. For me, God’s word is like that comforting miso soup for the soul. It is a reminder that He will bring me through it…no matter what life or the world throws at me. My faith is strong and maybe it took a fever to kind of forget for a minute…but I KNOW I am taken care of and I am never alone.
He is there when we do not even realize it…in the moon and the stars. And yeah, maybe even in the soup.
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive