I have never done this before but I am going to re-post an old entry. I do not ever read old posts but I have been reflecting on 2015 as it is coming to an end and I wanted to revisit where I was at exactly one year ago today. I will be posting more this week on my current status. This is what I wrote one year ago today…
(And once again I dedicate this one to “Miss S”…HAPPY birthday tomorrow! This time it is 43 years young. I hope it is a beautiful year…and remember you are LOVED 🙂 )
Blesssings,
Stacey ~ iamalive
GAME TIME 12/28/2014
As 2014 is coming to an end I keep hearing a common theme from my favorite authors, writers, pastors and others who inspire me. It is a common theme of reflection on the past year. What have I learned from this past year?
I adore Elizabeth Gilbert’s work, her hero’s journey (Eat, Pray, Love) and her constant inspiring messages. She oozes positivity and I cannot get enough. Her post today was this same theme of reflection and S-L-O-W-I-N-G down. She stressed how important it is to slow down and not rush through the experiences throughout your life that have the most capacity to transform you. Unfortunately, we grow the most from the BAD and most difficult experiences. She referred to her friend Rob Bell who suggested answering this simple question…”What are the three or four things that have happened to you in your life, that most formed you into who you are today?” For most of us…the answers are going to be bad things. I can easily name a few of my own off the top of my head. The death of my mom. The loss of both of my marriages. Letting go of toxic relationships with friends, bosses, family members and significant others. There are definitely good things too but bad things that HURT us so much are the things that transform us completely if we give them enough time to do so properly.
I can so relate to this. It has been 1.5 years since my marriage ended and I truly took my time to rediscover myself again and figure out what was the root cause. There are actually several causes but the main one being that I was focusing all of my time and energy into someone else and his dreams and lost sight of my own. I became bitter and ugly as a result. My thought processes became negative. In summary…many events happen to us throughout our lives that are not very pleasant but if you take the time to digest and process everything fully you can come through to the other side transformed and better as a result of it. I am definitely through to the other side.
Mandy Hale (The Single Woman) whom I also truly adore…posted recently about this very same topic as well. Her message was “Whatever happened over this past year, be thankful for where it brought you. Where you are is where you are meant to be!” She stressed that every single thing that happened (good or bad) served a purpose and that there is nothing bad that can happen that God cannot turn into good. I believe this with all of my heart. I will use my example of my divorce again. If he hadn’t walked out I wouldn’t have found STACEY again. The soft hearted, loving, caring, giving, free spirited, adventurous, POSITIVE Stacey that got lost along the way. Yes, there were many other experiences that happened throughout my life that began my journey to darkness but the end of my marriage was the straw that broke the camels back. THE EVENT THAT TRANSFORMED ME. I am so thankful for it now. I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be.
I saw a movie with my dear friend this week called “Wild” staring Reese Witherspoon based on the journey of Cheryl Strayed. It was one of those movies that I didn’t want to end. I felt like I could have been her character. It was a story of a woman whose life took a downward spiral after her mother died and her marriage fell apart. She couldn’t cope so she turned to drugs and meaningless sex with men she barely knew. She totally lost herself and she decided that in order to find herself again the only thing she could do was hike the PCT (Pacific Crest Trail). The PCT is one of the longest hiking trails in the United States and stretches from Mexico to Canada and takes on average 150 days to complete. Cheryl’s backpack was bigger than she was but her determination was even bigger. She struggled and endured pain and feelings of defeat but she forged on and in the process she began to heal on the inside. I can relate. It is that same hero’s journey that I have mentioned before that we all have inside of us. It is the story inside of us that we have a responsibility of telling in order to help others if we have been called to do so. I by no means have the will power to hike 1,100 miles alone in order to find myself but I have been on a similar journey. My healing has come through my writing and encouraging others. Through helping others you help yourself heal, learn and grow. As a result, at least from my experience…you become transformed.
Lastly, I want to include the message from the sermon at church today. Our pastor challenged us to reflect on this past year and write down the three most meaningful stand out memories. He also explained that these memories might be bad ones. “You always want to learn from your past but you don’t want to live there”…instead you learn, reflect, grow and forget so that you STOP BEING CHAINED TO YOUR PAST. (The forgetting is still my struggle but I am doing better with time). Next he asked us to think about what God was trying to teach using those memories that we wrote down. And finally, he asked us to think about what we are going to do about it.
For me, my top memories were most definitely not pleasant ones. They were letting go of relationships that were not good for me. Negative, toxic relationships that were not helping me move forward in my journey but holding me back. It is difficult to let go of people you care about but at some point you have to put yourself first and move on. It was painful. I think what God was trying to teach me was what I have already been working on…that it’s more important to LOVE YOURSELF first. You will never be happy when you are trying to please people who aren’t in the same boat that you’re in. What am I going to do about it? I’m going to only pursue positive, nurturing relationships with people who are in the same boat as me, period. At this point in my life I don’t care if I have tons of friends. I KNOW who my TRUE friends are and I KNOW who TRULY cares about me, who has my best interests at heart and who is not jealous of me, using me or bringing me down with emotional negativity.
The main point I am trying to stress is the importance of reflection. You can reflect over the past year, the past 10 years or your entire life if you need to…just do what is necessary to become AWARE of what has happened so that you can make positive changes from what you have learned. My reflecting right now is mainly over the last 2 years. 2013 was my transformation year…the year I WOKE UP. 2014 has been a year of processing things that have happened and understanding the lessons I have learned and finally learning to put myself first by not allowing negativity into my life. It has been a year of becoming ME again and a year of beginning to look forward to a future again.
I realize now that I do have a bright future ahead of me. God definitely has a plan for my life and I am going to TRUST his plan and his timing and take things day by day as they come…not living in the past and not planning so far ahead that I am not happy in the current moment.
This is the only life we get…make it a good one. Break those chains. Reflect, learn and move forward.
It is GAME TIME!
(I dedicate this entry to my TRUE friend miss S. I hope 2015 and your 42nd year on the planet bring you all the happiness you deserve. Happy birthday tomorrow! (Thanks for always being there and supporting me…I love you!)
