I bought a house earlier this year. Yes, in 2020, at the beginning of the pandemic. I hadn’t had my own place since 2012. My apartment was fine enough but it felt so temporary. It wasn’t mine and that bothered me. I realized I was finally at the stage in my life where I needed to plant roots again. I had been in limbo long enough. I needed something to take care of and call mine again. I had been half heartedly looking for a house for about a year before I found this place. I saw several that would have worked but nothing I fell in love with. With my other two places I had in the past I just knew when I saw them that I had to live in each of them. I wanted that feeling again. I didn’t want to move just to be moving. 

So, back in March, when things were just really starting to get super weird with the Coronavirus, Covid-19, the Chinese Virus…or whatever you prefer to call it, I saw the house I am sitting in now pop up as a new listing on my realtor’s website. It looked to be the perfect size, in the perfect location, and the perfect price. It looked like it needed some work but I knew in my gut I had to see it. I contacted my realtor immediately and we went and looked at it two hours later. 

From my experience with half hearted looking over the year prior I learned that the market was super fast and if you weren’t certain you wanted the house, you probably wouldn’t get it if you dragged your feet because houses were literally going on the market one day and sold the same day or the next. I looked at it. I knew I wanted it. I made my offer that day. My offer was accepted that same day. 

What just happened??? I didn’t even have time to think about it. I just acted. But it felt right.

That is how quickly I went from living in limbo and unsure of where I might end up to making a move and becoming settled again. It happened in one day. 

The entire buying process from meeting with the mortgage company, to the home inspection, to the closing and everything in between was just WEIRD. Most businesses were closed during that time so it wasn’t exactly convenient. Neither my realtor nor myself were present during the inspection for FEAR that someone might have “the virus.” I was alone signing all of the paperwork at the title company at closing so that nobody from the mortgage company or my realtor were put at risk. Everyone was just a phone call away but I basically had to maneuver most things during the process alone. I didn’t tell any of my family, friends, or coworkers I bought a house at first. I didn’t want anyone to think I was **crazy** for doing so in such uncertain times. I couldn’t even tell my dad about it because I wasn’t allowed to visit him at the nursing home anymore. Everyone was quarantined. The entire world was on lockdown and Stacey buys a house. 

But I made it through it. And I have been in my cute little fixer upper since May 18th. As sure as I was that I wanted this house I do wonder sometimes if I did the right thing. My depression and anxiety come and go like waves these days. I worry I won’t be able to take care of it and it might just crumble around me. I don’t even own a lawnmower yet. I haven’t taken care of many things I need to take care of yet. I just discovered this week that there was no furnace filter in the furnace. I just assumed the previous owner left one there. I have been without a stove for over a month because I ordered new appliances and sold the stove I had prematurely. I have been struggling to eat healthy as a result. 

Do I have a clue what I am doing most days? No, I do not. 

I still see the number 41 constantly…every single day. My sign for years now that everything is ok and to just keep going. But sometimes I lose faith. 

I was sitting outside on my patio this afternoon and a hummingbird came to visit me, twice. He hovered in front of my face as if he was trying to figure out if I was a flower or not. He left and then came right back and did the same thing. It kind of scared me the first time and I ducked out of the way. I wondered if he was going to zoom at my head with those fast little wings and tiny body. But when he came back again I just sat there and looked at him as he fluttered in front of me. I think he was telling me all is okay. You are right where you need to be. 

If you are having any doubts during these crazy times, remember, you are right where you need to be too. Trust God, the numbers, your gut, and the hummingbird if you are lucky enough to receive a visit.

Blessings, 

Stacey ~ iamalive