1 Corinthians 9:16 “Yet when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, for I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!”
Sometimes I get so frustrated when I am at my day job and wonder to myself “why am I here instead of at home writing?!?!” (Or sitting by the ocean writing!) But then I remember I have to pay my bills and eat so a job is a necessity.
Keeping busy with things that do not fill my soul with joy stresses me out and makes me tired. I KNOW God has me where I am for a reason. I have difficulty accepting that sometimes though. I am not quite far enough along in my spiritual journey to take on some things that I have prayed about. I still lose faith. I still have issues with trusting fully. I still have fears. I still doubt. I struggle with balancing a sometimes-stressful full time day job with my second “ dream job”…the one that brings me joy. I have trouble focusing on much of anything most of the time because I am tired and my priorities are backwards.
“Why can’t I just take a year off work so I can follow my dreams?”
I have heard more than one person who has written a book, started a business, became a pastor, became an actor or a musician etc. say something along the lines of…”I chased my dreams while I worked a full time regular job.” It is not easy but it is possible.
When God places a calling in your heart to do anything you are to fulfill it however you can. I have thought many times that I should hang up the writing and inspiring dreams and go find a better day job so that I am not living paycheck to paycheck while juggling my dreams and my job and not doing either very well! But when I truly think about doing that I know that is not what God wants me to do. I would not be pleasing Him if I quit now. I would be giving up on God.
I went outside on my lunch break today and sat in the sun and wrote in my journal. I have been writing at work a lot lately when I have free moments. When I have a thought that is meaningful I write it down right then on a post it. I am feeling more peace about balancing the job that I must keep out of necessity and the call on my heart to write. It is about accepting the circumstances I am in now instead of the way I thought things were supposed to be. I might be in my little cottage on the beach writing one day…or I might be in this situation for the rest of my life and if so, that is God’s will.
Time will tell. Until then I’m trusting God, answering His call, letting go of negativity from my past, moving forward with faith, facing my fears, believing in myself and finding joy while balancing two “jobs”…all the while…waking up every morning to face each new day with an open heart, continuing to dig my ditch. Following your dreams is not some magical experience. IT IS WORK. But it is so worth it.
God, I pray for others who are struggling to find peace with where they are right now and believe they should be somewhere else. You have a plan for each of us and we trust You fully. Thank You for placing dreams in our hearts. We are right where we are supposed to be. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive