I had a conversation about decision-making and God’s will with a friend a while back. He comforted me with his words and reminded me that God’s will for my life could mean following several different paths. There is not necessarily one good path and the rest are all bad. Several paths might be good to follow.
I have been struggling with a pretty big decision for a couple of weeks now. I have learned a lot from my past mistakes and realize I need to put more thought into my decisions than I used to. In the past, if something felt right or excited me I went in that direction without a second thought. And even if I had a negative feeling about it, I ignored it. Since I am more aware or awake today…I am better at taking my time. I am actually a bit too slow to be honest. I have crawled into a comfort zone where I am not doing much of anything except waiting and resting. I seriously feel like a big bear in hibernation. (I will be SO glad when it warms up so I can get outside…that will help).
Anyway, I was approached with an opportunity that is soon going to catapult me out of hibernation BIG TIME. And since I made the decision, I have been a bit terrified that I might be making a mistake. I have that gut feeling that something is off kind of like I did in the past. But back then I ignored it. So I have a bit of a dilemma. I reached out to people at church for counseling and really didn’t get any response like I needed. I have only expressed my thoughts to one other friend because to be honest nobody else really understands where I am in life right now. Her advice was to go for the opportunity. Seeking advice from the outside is avoiding listening to God’s voice though.
I decided something today that gave me a bit of peace about my decision. I was sitting here listening to music and Just Be Held by Casting Crowns came on the radio. It gave me comfort and reminded me that no matter WHAT I do, God is going to be there holding me. I am NOT alone in my decision. And I realized something else…this unexpected opportunity could be His way of pulling me out of hiding. I have allowed fear to take control of me in a way I never have in the past. I am extremely FREE in many ways right now but I am still holding back. I used to be a total adventurer up for anything and lately I just want to curl up in a ball on the floor with my cats and listen to music all of the time.
He wants so much more for my life than that. I am scared…I am not going to lie. But I know He has a plan. This ride I have been on for the last couple of years is not over yet and the next couple of months are going to be another piece of the puzzle. Everything is falling into place, in His time. The closer I walk with Jesus the clearer everything becomes.
Trusting God…
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive