It is 10:30pm on Sunday and I am supposed to be at work at 6:00am. Sure, it is the perfect time to begin a blog post! 😉 My thoughts are more clear late at night for some reason…I will sleep again someday.
I finished a book about a week ago by Dr. Henry Cloud called “Never Go Back.” It was recommended to me several months ago and I finally got around to reading it. I read it in one day. It was one of those kind of books. I will very likely read it again very soon.
This book spoke to me. I feel like I have been driving in circles most of my life and never going anywhere. I tend to make poor choices, fall flat on my face, pick myself up, and make the same choice again…only to repeat the cycle. In his book, Dr. Cloud gives “doorways” that we must walk through in order to never go back to old patterns that didn’t work for us. I realized something pretty incredible as I was reading. I am actually already following many of these steps. I wish I had read this book 20 years ago but if I had would I have really listened to his teachings? Or would I have continued through life as I did stumbling and fumbling until I finally saw the light on my own as I have more recently? I am pretty stubborn so I think I know the answer.
The 10 awakenings he outlines in the book are:
1-Never again return to what hasn’t worked
2-Never again do anything that requires you to be someone you’re not
3-Never again try to change another person
4-Never again believe that you can please everyone
5-Never again choose short term comfort over long term benefit
6-Never again trust someone or something flawless
7-Never again take your eyes off the big picture
8-Never again neglect to do due diligence
9-Never again fail to ask why you are where you are
10-Never again forget that your inner life determines your outer success
Whew!!! I NEED to do better at all of those don’t you? I could write a blog about each “awakening” but I will leave it at this and I hope you check out the book.
One of my co-workers asked me the oddest question last week. He randomly does that and he always makes me think. “If you could go back to your ten-year old self with all of the knowledge you have now would you do it?” My answer was NO. If I did that I would have no stories to tell! I would have chosen the right path every time I needed to make a decision. Don’t we grow and learn from our mistakes? Even if I did have an opportunity to go back and make all of the “right” choices the second time I wouldn’t do it. Life is not meant to be lived going backwards.
I saw a movie on Friday with a similar concept (which I throughly enjoyed) called SELFLESS. In the movie, a wealthy man who was dying with cancer chose to undergo a medical procedure where his “brain” or consciousness was transferred to a healthy body of a much younger man who was supposedly genetically made from “tissue” in a laboratory but was in reality a man who gave his life to research to pay his daughters medical bills. Kind of confusing but what happened was the memories of the young man whose body the elderly mans consciousness had been transferred to began to surface. Basically, the thoughts and memories of two people were fighting against each other in the same body. Very far fetched but it really made me think. I do not want to give away what happened but the two men were as different as night and day. One selfless, the other selfish. I left the theatre thinking about the importance of the people in our lives and how we need to love an appreciate them NOW. Sometimes there is no later.
I posted my regular tweets this morning on Twitter and when I was finished I noticed I had a direct message from a follower. He wrote “Did a man keep you waiting too long or something?”
My first thought was what in the world had I posted to make him ask that question??? I typically save quotes that just plain make sense to me. It does not necessarily mean that I am experiencing that situation at this exact moment. I responded that I was 43 and single and that he could find out the rest of my details when my book comes out 😉
Then I began to wonder…does everyone think my singleness is a my problem in life? If I had followed Dr. Henry Cloud’s steps to awakening long ago…maybe I wouldn’t be in this predicament? Single and starting over again in my 40s? I really don’t know but I am choosing to not look back. I am choosing to make only positive decisions from this point forward and really listening to my gut, my intuition, and GOD. He knows what is best for me whether I like it or not. If I had listened to Him more in the past instead of selfishly choosing paths that made me happy in that moment maybe my life would be a bit different. But as I told my co-worker…if I went back…I wouldn’t have anything to share or write about. There is a purpose.
I saw a short video at church a couple of weeks ago with a message from Pastor Tim Keller…a well known speaker and author. The message that day was how to live out your fulfillment in Jesus. Keller described how our loves are disordered. The problem is we don’t love God more than anything else and therefore we are never fulfilled. The message inspired me to listen to more of Keller’s talks and I stumbled upon one that I felt compelled to share here with you. It is called “The Theology of Singleness” and I recommend everyone listen, not just single people like myself. It has a GREAT message for everyone.
There is nothing wrong with being single. There is nothing wrong with being married. There is however something wrong with not putting God first in your life. Above yourself and above your loved ones. When we stop idolizing people, we are able to experience love the way it is supposed to happen.
I know I have shared A LOT of information here and as always I appreciate you reading if you made it this far! Read the book “Never Go Back” by Dr. Henry Cloud and take 30 minutes and watch the Tim Keller video. And if you are in need of an escape…go see the movie “Selfless”…it is definitely entertaining and I liked the overall message.
In response to my friend who messaged me on Twitter. Yes, I have waited on a couple of men in my life for too long. Six years once and three years the other time. I am not waiting anymore though…my eyes are focused on the one who gave His life for me. “Everything I once held dear, I count it all lost. Lead me to the cross.” Amen!
Have a blessed week!
Stacey ~ iamalive
http://youtu.be/Z6u3GkrQfgI