Today is Thanksgiving Eve. It is a time of the year that stirs up precious memories from the past. It is a time to pause and give thanks for all of the blessings we have received in this life.
Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday. As a child, I remember helping my mom prepare the turkey to bake every year on Thanksgiving morning. She would remove the thawed bird from the refrigerator and pull off the plastic wrapping. I remember watching her pull the extra parts out of the cavities to boil them (which I thought was really gross). Then she would douse the headless creature with heaps of butter and salt and pepper and cover it with aluminum foil. In the oven it would go then I would go relax on the couch and watch the Macy’s parade…keeping an eye on the clock because I wanted to see the red timer pop out of the turkey when it was ready. I never actually saw it pop but it was still like magic. The butterball was done and mom and I would sneak a piece of the crispy skin before my dad came to the kitchen to carve it with the electric knife. That knife only came out twice a year…for the ham at Easter and for the turkey on Thanksgiving. Those were sweet memories I will always treasure.
As I grew older I began to do more than watch my mom prepare the turkey…especially the years she was “down” due to depression. I prepared many Thanksgiving feasts as a teen pretty much all by myself. My sister in law usually mashed the potatoes but I became a pro at turkey baking, pumpkin and pecan pie making, five-cup salad, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes and all the trimmings. “It wasn’t the Waldorf” as my dad used to say after almost any meal…but it was our Thanksgiving.
Everything changed in 2003 when my mom passed. I don’t even remember what my dad and I did for our meal that year. I probably cooked for my brother’s family and us but I don’t know for sure. The following year my first husband and I took dad out to eat on Thanksgiving Day and that became a tradition for a couple of years. But then I divorced. And then dad moved to the nursing home.
Tonight, Thanksgiving eve, I am alone in my apartment sitting at my computer. I have no turkey to bake tomorrow. (I don’t even eat turkey anymore!) I will not be baking pies or visiting with friends or relatives tomorrow. I will be having lunch at the nursing home with my dad. Everything has changed, and I don’t like that if I think about it too much. But I will be thankful for everything I do still have.
Life changes. People change. People come and people go. Traditions change. Sometimes it is difficult to embrace the changes and let go of the past. If you were blessed like me your childhood was not too damaging. But maybe it was. And maybe you don’t think about the past but only desire to create new memories in new places with new people in your life. No matter where you are or who your are with…you are loved. You are alive and breathing and that is more than enough reason to celebrate.
“For everyone who helped me start
And for everything that broke my heart
For every breath, for every day of living
This is my Thanksgiving.”
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive
Thanks to my sweet friend for sharing this song with me today and for making me LAUGH. Much needed. Love you lady…thankful for you.