I saw an old friend recently. I had not seen this person for nearly 20 years. That is almost half of my lifetime ago. Our conversation brought back so many memories. It is CRAZY to me how fast time is flying the older I get. 44? I should still be 22 years old sitting on my bed in my apartment at college studying for chemistry exams without a care in the world other than passing a test.
During that 20 year period between college and now…a heck of a lot has happened and I learned a lot about life, other people, and myself. We’ve had three different presidents, one of whom I met. I bought and sold two homes. I married and divorced twice. I was engaged once and broke it off ten days before the wedding. My mom died after years of battling depression. My dad’s illness worsened and he is confined to a wheelchair. I have had several beloved pets…and lost many of them. I traveled a lot. I saw 50 Dave Matthews Band concerts give or take a few. I went to Mexico by myself a few times. I went to Japan by myself several times. I flew in a little two-seater plane over Montreal. I snorkeled in Hawaii. I blended in the crowd in Germany. I obtained my municipal and industrial wastewater treatment licenses. Ha! I had two long-term relationships that didn’t end in marriage and lasted longer than they should have. I learned that I am a horrible bowler. I learned that I am not meant to be a runner because I have a bum foot, although I enjoy running immensely. I learned that Honda’s just keep going and going. I learned how to pack a lot lighter when traveling. I learned that I can camp alone in a tent in a strange place and have the BEST time of my life. I learned that I can live without eating meat (other than fish). I learned that a lot of people will let you down. I learned that I let a lot of people down too and always will. I learned that there are too many people in the world with really messed up priorities so I stopped watching the news. I learned that many people come and go but some will ALWAYS be there. Many times the ones that hurt you the most you never hear from again. And the ones you hurt the most are still there. I learned that there are a lot of really sick people on the Internet. And I learned there are many, many more amazing people on the Internet. I learned to never give up on my dreams. I learned that God answers prayers when you sincerely talk to Him. I learned that the answers don’t always come immediately or in the way I wanted but they are always revealed eventually, in His time. I learned that I CAN take care of myself. I learned that I don’t necessarily want to be alone forever but time by myself has healed me from my past mistakes and things that happened beyond my control. I learned that God is FOR ME, not against me…as I felt for so long. I learned that people can change, including me. I learned that the life I thought I wanted when I was in my 20s looks NOTHING like the life I have now.
That’s only part of it. And it is the beginning. I have half of my life ahead of me still and my eyes are open now to take it all in…the good and the bad, knowing that everything happens for a reason. And whatever happens, I am going to be okay in the end. God makes sure of that.
I learned that I kind of like myself now. My body is 44 but I am still 22 in my mind and I have a feeling I always will be…
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive
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