I read the above quote on Instagram this evening and I began crying. I read a lot of quotes every day but this one really spoke to me where I am in life at this moment. (Thank you L.S. for posting this…as well as the rest!)
I am definitely in a season of growth. I spend a lot of time sitting around pondering things. I spend most of my free time lying on the floor in my little office in my apartment because my cat has taken over my desk. And besides, I think most writers prefer to sprawl out on the floor with their work. 😉 But that leads to naps and wasted hours. I have this desire in me to do so much more with my life but I feel like God is saying to me, “Not just yet.” I apparently need more time to grow into my relationship with Him.
This season of life is a GIFT however. I watched one of my favorite authors, Liz Gilbert, this morning on Good Morning America…talking about her spiritual journey and how it lasted for about four years until she found her way through. I am approaching year three. We are all different but it gives me comfort in knowing that I am NOT alone. The Lauren DeMoss quote is equally comforting. The messages I receive from my friends on Twitter and subscribers with encouraging words and “me too” moments is even more encouraging. It tells me that at the core, we are all so much alike.
I am currently reading the One Year Bible this year. I have read bits and pieces of the Bible throughout different periods of my life but never cover to cover. I can tell you already it is the BEST goal I have ever set for myself. I have ADHD tendencies and my reading comprehension has always been poor. It is difficult to focus reading on a book for fun let alone the Old Testament. But this Bible is broken up into short daily readings from the Old and New Testaments as well as Psalms and Proverbs. I look forward to digging into it every morning. This morning’s passage was from Deuteronomy 13 “The Lord your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Amen and YES He is. That IS what this particular season of my life is all about. And from Psalm 71 today, “though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.” Those were the two verses I highlighted from today’s reading.
I wrote yesterday about my trip to Japan in 2013 to heal from my marriage ending. I have an opportunity to go back. I am at a very different place than I was just three short years ago. I think this time is really to test how much I do love Him. As Liz Gilbert said this morning in her interview…”It’s a process, not an instant” regarding finding your true self as you walk closer with God. Although I did have a spiritual moment in 2013, I’m not waiting for a lightning bolt to strike to let me know I’m through it. It takes time and it is most certainly a process to becoming the person God intended you to be.
I’m thankful for this process. Without it, it is a scary thought where I might be. But I am here for a reason. “This is an opportunity that doesn’t happen every day. This is your chance to be polished til you shine. It’s a chance to let heartache change your life.” L.D.
Welcoming that chance daily…
Blessings,
Stacey ~ iamalive