To The Young “Men”

I don’t speak for all women but I speak for many.

To the young men:

Just because we wear skirts, dresses, shorts, tank tops, halter tops, a bikini, high heels, make-up, or anything else that accentuates our femininity doesn’t mean we are asking for sex.

Just because we attend an event with you like prom, a wedding, a party, or go out with you in your car doesn’t mean we are supposed to have sex with you.

Just because we are drunk or passed out doesn’t mean we are asking for sex.

Just because my friends are having sex doesn’t mean I am going to have sex with you.

Just because I am your girlfriend and we are already in a sexual relationship doesn’t mean you can have sex with me even when I tell you no.

Just because you have a sexual urge doesn’t mean you can have sex with or fondle your younger siblings or their friends.

Just because I am a girl doesn’t mean I want “it.”

 

And the list goes on…

I read a Facebook post tonight that triggered some memories from my past. The list above is generalizations, not my personal experience exactly. The topic of rape has been on my mind for a few days since one of my violators had the nerve to send me a Facebook friend request recently.

In a nutshell, I was 15 years old and at my best friends house for the weekend. She invited two boys to come over and they showed up with alcohol. Her mom was home and didn’t know they were in her bedroom with us. It was my first experience with drinking and I passed out. The next thing I knew one boy was on top of me and my clothes were off. In between vomiting, waking up, passing out, and doing it all again…another boy was on top of me. I was not dating either of them. They were only acquaintances. Now they are forever my rapists.

This happens every single day to girls everywhere. To the parents out there…teach your young men that women are NOT objects for sexual pleasure. Sex is to be shared between a committed couple in marriage. The rest is sin. The rest can sometimes destroy a young girl for the rest of her life in ways your young men will never comprehend.

Young woman reading this, there is hope. I am a survivor and I know many, many more. God gave you a voice to share your story. Do not remain silent. When you share you help others as well as yourself. No matter if it happened yesterday or 20 years ago and it has been tucked deep inside eating away at you all this time, let it out. Set yourself free.

You did NOT deserve it.

Blessings,

Stacey ~ iamalive