Romans 8:31 “What then, shall we say in the response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Amen!
I forget that sometimes in the chaos of life.
I moved recently. Not a big move…just a couple of miles away. But it was still an ordeal. Packing and getting everything ready, making multiple phone calls, arranging for a truck to rent, organizing friends who were willing to help me move (Thank You God for those people!), wondering how my cats would adjust and how I would adjust, etc.
Moving day didn’t go as smoothly as planned. The truck rental place gave away the truck they were holding for me. I did get a truck but it was way bigger than I needed and I was afraid to drive it. Thankfully I didn’t take out anything or anyone…although there was that parked car that I almost hit. The keys didn’t work to my new place and I had friends waiting for me at my old place to return with the truck to load it. I was already sweating but at that point I was wondering if I had on enough deodorant. In the midst of the key fiasco, one of my cats escaped. He almost slipped through my fingertips but I caught him and I am sure he thought he wasn’t having the best day at that point either.
The loading up and unloading went fairly smooth. I turned into a mother hen asking everyone to “be careful” and “don’t hurt yourself” about a hundred times. I really do not have much furniture anymore. I lost most of my belongings during my second marriage. I blamed my ex for it. Bitterness still creeps up when I least expect it. I had a bed. I had two beds actually. But now I was sleeping on an air mattress. I sold all of my mom’s antique furniture. I sold pretty much everything. All I had left was my keepsakes, kitchen and bathroom stuff and my clothes. And every time I thought of something I once had and didn’t have anymore I uttered the words “I used to have that.” If I have uttered those words once, I have uttered those words 1,000 times over the last two years. It has been the most difficult part of my divorce…losing my precious “stuff” and then my husband left me. And all for what???
Fast-forward one week. I am settled into my new place. I purchased a new mattress this week so I now have a REAL bed again. Payment plans are good things in certain situations and my back is thanking me.
I went bargain hunting this weekend with friends and found a couple of shelves for under $10 at a consignment shop as well as the PERFECT leather couch…exactly like I have been wanting. It was just sitting there waiting for me. Except it had one problem…a rather large patch that covered a tear. For $30 I can live with a patch. That is what decorative pillows are for, right?
And my “dumpster diving” obsession continues. No, I have NEVER actually been inside a dumpster! But sometimes people leave beautiful pieces of furniture sitting beside them. Today I found a piano bench among several other precious items just sitting at the end of someone’s driveway. The cushion on the bench needs to be reupholstered. And I do not even have a piano. “I used to have one.” And maybe I will again someday. I’d love to take lessons again. It might be a bit choppy but I think I could still play The Rose and Minuet with sheet music. And I KNOW I could play Heart and Soul as I did a thousand times when I was I was a child. I love music.
I also love the fact that although I have LOST a great deal of THINGS that were special to me…I can replace them with things that can become just as special. And this time, you know what? I appreciate them so much more. I have EVERYTHING I need already. I know there are many people in the world that if they stepped into my life might think they were in a castle or maybe even in Heaven.
So, instead of asking God “Why are you making me struggle”, my desire now is to ask Him “What are you trying to teach me?”
He has taught me way more than I ever expected since I embraced His love for me again two years ago. And I know that He is FOR me. He is for YOU. He is for all of us.
I felt His overwhelming presence today at church during worship music. I wish every one of you could have experienced that with me today. Maybe you did in another place. He was also on my hike today. Whispering through the wind and the trees…
I am grateful and I am blessed. I am ALIVE.
Have a blessed week!
Stacey ~ iamalive